sinful masquerade

2006-05-14T20:40:00.000-07:00

long time didnt update. ermmm lets see. so much things happen recently.no idea where to begin. no longer sad lyk last time but im living wit so much pure asshole at work. muahahaha. gt a new mate in life. shawn. yea. happpy. really happy. but nothing actually happen. yet. for the tim ebeing. we're jux happy e way we are. holding hands in train. cuddling even thou we haf nothing in status. works great. cudnt be happier. since the day i met shawn my life cudnt get much better. i love every second of it. haix. he went wedding dinner last nite after work. hes 10-6 shift. he looks so handsome. very handsome. hes mine =). hahha. well i gt piss off at work last nite cox i gt screw up at the buffet line. fucking hungry monsters. use plates lyk water. fuck lar. i kip topping up but still within few min its gone. haix. muscles. anyways i top up tumbler and it drop. e whole rest jux froze. shit! wasnt tad lovely going home alone

2006-01-10T20:01:00.000-08:00

i wake up every mornin countin e days im gonna be 18
seriously i did
but i noe its still a long way to go
i jux dun wan to get older.
u noe it sucks having commitments(im not tawkin abt rship)
its lyk a heavy weight burden on me
ya i noe all i haf to do is jux study n dun worry abt e financial tingy
but i jux dun fil so gd using my parents money.(c.... ive becum more sensible in a way)
Well lets look on e brite side of life.
legal to drink
legal to smoke
legal to club
hahaha
its ait illegal fer me anymore
so i shud be happy tad lifes getting beter
im not tawking abt L.O.V.E
nvr

2006-01-05T01:56:00.000-08:00

its bin a while since i last update
everythin jux happen so fast
used to workduring my hols but fuck tad place
i dunwanna tawk abt it
i miss sch ... yea i really miss sch
i suddenly realise how older im getting
finally cud hit momo next yr... hahaha
lyk i said i live off those trying to be goth days of mine.
i finally find it lame althou imstill quite attach to dose cosplay goth costume
anyways... damn i always get this damn writers block.

resoultions
- finish yr 2
- go poly if not where else =)
- n70 fer javis
- stop acting lyk a spoil brat

job hunters

2005-11-25T19:02:00.000-08:00

Photobucket

2005-11-25T18:59:00.000-08:00

This is a test post from Photobucket.com

job hunters

2005-11-25T18:58:00.000-08:00

2005-11-25T05:33:00.000-08:00

i got a job at esplanade

chocz

haix

hold days are over

2005-11-21T22:24:00.000-08:00

i catch the harry potter latest movie

feel so lyk a kid

hahaha.

he who destroys me will be burn into ashes.

im sad

im disapointed

im a shrew

2005-11-15T22:34:00.000-08:00

haven bin blogging fer lyk a long time

things hapen alot

falling in love is cancerous.

being in love is deadly

Love is always associate wit death

e.g till death do us part or

terrible break ups can cause harms.

love has its magic.

Love dominates the oneself

To outdo or undone a life....

2005-10-28T04:26:00.000-07:00

im not lookin 4ward 4 my bday

javis cock up excuse not wantin to see me

im hurt

fuckin hurt

2005-10-24T17:00:00.000-07:00

i won 1 game in all e card games. but i dun fil lyk a loser cox im amatuer. damn. i did learn sumtink but im not gd at it. my ankle hurts under e aircon. it froze my brain too.i wish i haf fur.i dun mind looking lyk a werewolf. werewolfs are cool.

2005-10-24T16:25:00.000-07:00

life has bin quite bad of the late. i dunnoe why. maybe its always bad. i sprain my ankle again when i wan to board the bus. i miss the step n landed wit a twisted ankle. for the 2nd time i tot i mite get a fracture. but im still walking. shud go see a do regardin this worn out ankles =). maybe too old already. i got the wedge vintage heels i wanted at fareast fer 30+ bucks. now im not sure whether i can still wear it wit my ankles in bad condition. not again cox last year i celebrate e occsaion wit a twisted ankle too. horrible. well i fantasie of having cruthes under my armpit jux lyk travis barker. he was so damn hot on cable last nite tad i drool on my sofa. i jux lyk landon. sooo cute. gtg now. im gonna learn paly card. toodles

2005-10-19T23:34:00.000-07:00

blogging in sch now

javis still haven call me.

i msg him but no reply

maybe hes really leaving me

i fuckin dun understand the current status now

can sumbody pls tell me?

hes acting lyk a wuss, no doubt

a real wuss

he practically whines more than me

i guex

he twirls the story round n round

lyk i used to say

he makes my world go round and he crash it too

damn

im a sad bitch

projects due-ing soon

haven even assemble e whole thing

die.

for fucking sake i dun even noe why im stuck to this course

e theory part is great

but e projects n practical?

it sucks

but i already lyk make thru more than half of this yr

means i can take it rite?

going shopping this friday wit my lil tart

im searching fer this clutch

e perfect clutch

GOD im turning 17 soon.

urgh. older

damn

2005-10-17T12:00:00.000-07:00

its now e time of e yr where i will sorta look bac wad ive done fer e past yr. everytin jux happen so fast. ppl left n eventually dey will be in my memories. my dad n my aunt pass away this yr. tads e most saddest part of my life. yea. i miss dad. i miss him everytime i see my mom looking out e window lookin so lonely. n as fer my aunt. its to bitter to accept e fact tad shes gone. esp my dad. hes still sad abt it thou. in all this i learn, life is fragile. as fer me im gettin older. shud be wiser and mature. shud stop whining lyk a lil tart. n not all things can go my way from now on. deres cetain things i nid to cum to a wise decision. i've to tink wit my brains not my ass. five yrs of frenship past. ups n downs of it. e betrayal. e happy moments. ive past sec life and ive met alot of new human beans.but i didnt forget my old tarts.dey are jux e best.even thou we dun mit up regurlaly cox we're bz , but we still find time fer each other.it may still hurts tad period of time of me and sue,but i've learn to forgif and forget.i mux.17 years is gonna pass soon.one year later 18. 3 yrs later 20. OMG. 7 years later 27. settling down. so fast. i dunnoe wads n how my future will be like. bleak? as fer my love life. my heart is still entangle wit javis. its rather complicated now. i really haf no say. i dunno wads e current status. its jux so @%&#. n one thing : I CAN NEVER BE A COOL KID. hahahaha

2005-10-17T10:29:00.000-07:00

SAT WAS BLAST.

GATHERING HAS NVR BIN FUN.

WE GREW.

ALL OF US.

MATURELY

HAHAHA.

no cute guys. but javis called

i miss JAVIS.

5 YRS OF FRENSHIP WIT THE GURLS

MISS DOSE OLD DAYS.

sweet.....

2005-10-12T16:17:00.000-07:00

javis called and asked how am i?

wad day is today?

oh god

wad does he want?

is he or is he not my bf?

he makes my world go round

really going round

and left me wit migraine

on-off rship?

good idea?

i dunnoe.

im outta here

wooooooohooooooooooooooooo-

2005-10-12T09:06:00.000-07:00

bin sick since friday.

lay dead in bed

pure exhaustion

facin four purple walls

horny each time

hahaha

tables is huge

and im supose to swallow it

e doc is cute

he wore boots to the clinic

cool huh?

dashing prince

but hes blegh

anyways going out this sat to geylang

believe it anot.

im going geylang

GAY-lang

its fer gays

duh

but i'll probably heed back to cck

mommys at my aunt baking cookies. shud be fun

mom + oven = cookies?

later on i smell disaster

in life, ppl take advantage of u

sometimes e ppl u love most hurt u

in an unexpected moment from e back.

it seems tad i was twirl ard by sum ppl

i shall not mention names.

i blame myself fer hating u

2005-10-05T15:09:00.000-07:00

wooohoo~

i haven decide whether to go out wit em on 15 anot

i dun feel lyk going cox i dun wish to face ppl

sue u expect me to trust u

but wad happen e last time?

am i suppose to trust u this time?

lost.confused.sad

2005-10-03T15:24:00.000-07:00

ppl tinks im nuts to update so many post in one day

but dat damn fucking comp is currently down

so...im gonna update e past and the fewture. =)

i dunno wads my future.

deres so many tings in me tad i wana say it out

but it jux seems not rite

schs makes me lively

but at nite i wish im dead

cox i iwsh everyday deres no nite

i jux cant seems to shut my eyes

i cudnt get to slp

is this a sign of depression?

i ate flu pills

and my mom has bin askin why

and wad if i ran out of pills?

how to slp?

imso afraid to shut my eyes.

im afraid tad once i shut it

i cudnt open it anymore

but isnt it better for me to live tis misery?

im tinking so much abt it

it drives me crazy.

why mux he be a part of me?

sometimes i wish all this is jux a dream

javis .... me ..... nitemare

but all this is too real to be a nitemare. im a coward to run away from reality. im scared

why mux all this be me?

2005-10-03T12:47:00.000-07:00

suicide kips tinking of me

and i felt tad hell is welcomin me wit open arms

i dunnoe wad to do

im at a total lost

i trust no one now

hes my only one and he left

why cudnt he understand

this is hurting me

i wish he understands this

but cud he?

he left me alone

i wish i cud commit suicide

but i cant leave everybody

whu loves me behind

2005-10-03T10:03:00.000-07:00

javis left me again

i repeat again

he told me to study and go poly

before he cum bac to me...

wad the fuck.

i told him he wun hear from me

ever again

but i can take it

why cant he lyk be wit me

wad did i do to deserve this

hes my all

javis read this

wake up

u are ruining my life

2005-09-28T17:20:00.000-07:00

ytd was not a bad day.
i manage to survive by kiping myself busy and laffing
lee and doll sure noe how to crack jokes
we end up laffing
non-stop.period.
but sure deres moment i kip tinking of e past
i really wish i had no past
i dun nid em
they sucks.
anyways....
alvin went back to sch ytd
yeah....NAFA alvin
e cute alvin
he looks way much cuter nw.
he didnt notice me
i was hoping he did
but ...nah its ok.
we’re not tad close anyway
saw GERALD
e hair...
OMG
its blast
pure lust = GERALD
yet so skinny =)
den at nite watch pride wit mom
she said takuya was hot
and i was lyk...duh...now den u noe?
and yeah she paid lyk 120bucks fer my upcumin mp3
yeah i noe.
im 17 wit no mp3
shame.
hahaha.
im getting one anyway
soooon.
real sooon.
corpse bride is out tmr
im all excited
im gonna watch wit kids
or maybe alone.
yeah
i cant wait
TRAVIS BARKER IS HOT
SHANNA IS NOT
HAHAHA.
yeah... typical
jealousy
=)

2005-09-27T09:28:00.000-07:00

sad post.

he decieve me

i wan to run away from him

i wan him to live in regrets

he toyed my feelings

im hurt

does he even care?

no.

fuck him.

today he crush my morning

i promise i will nvr be e same again

2005-09-26T13:31:00.000-07:00

ive bin changing skins.

skinS i mean. i kip changing

i jux realise im so fickle.

damn me.

schs gonna end soon.

looking foward to go hm and slp

cox im dead beat.

im gonna off my phone once i reach home

cox e more tad phone is switch on beside me

the more miserable i get

e more i cry

e more i feel lyk commiting suicide

its THE PHONE

damn.

im gonna change my no.

or beter stil dun use a mobile phone

2005-09-26T11:41:00.000-07:00

bin bloggin lackly recently. lacklys a word? god. anyways. ive bin feeling really bad this days.

loads of things jux didnt hapen my way. i hate it. ive bin doing loads of tinking too.

i nvr wan my life to go this way.

i always had e perfect ways in mind but it doesnt seems to werk.

javis is creatin a mess in my life. i dunnoe wad hes trying to do.

if he wants me dead, i will perish fer him

hes making my life miserable. i swear.

recently i drew sally on my wall and my mom has bin giving me hell

she told me to erase her on my wall.

i was lyk wtf mom. its MY room

to hell wit ppl whus critising my room. its mine. not theirs.

to hell wit em if i wan splash blood or watever i wan to cox

IT MY ROOM!

mom get a life.

im not e perfect kid u wan me too.

and i'll nvr be

shes always tryin to change me by making me look so innocent.

mom im not. u made me change myself

and pls dun go ard telling all dose moronic aunties abt my flaws.

what the fuck are u trying to do?

condem me?

yeah rite mom. URE MY MOM RMBR TAD

ure supose to put good words fer me not flauntin my flaws

i hate u

and stop welcoming me home wit ur frowning face.

i hate it. i wish im nvr home.
and i sometimes i wish u wil be nice and not jux shout at me everyday

and stop commenting on my dressing style.

i will nvr be lyk u.

ure style is atrocious.

pls let me haf my own life.

PLEASE MOM.

JAVIS

fuck off ure making me nuts

i wil go crazy

im going crazy every sec in my lfe

u make me hate myself

u make me hate u

but u didnt noe it rite?

yesh

jux get off my life

2005-09-20T05:00:00.000-07:00

broke up wit javis fer real.
werld crash.
im sick
i had enuf

2005-09-16T04:53:00.000-07:00

hmmmm ... how shud i start.javis asked fer a patch wit his dumb cheesy lines. if i dun care why wud i still call? ive nin seeing alex lately...but he made it clear tad we cant be together cox we jux cant be together...maybe hes tryin to tell me tad our age gap is jux too wide.... its lyk 6 years? and furthermore he told me he found someone he lyks. lyk i told him im lying if i told him im happy fer him and her. i dun tink so. haixxxx.... i gtg my mom is such an asssss

2005-09-12T12:57:00.000-07:00

me and javis are thru. he left me wit a pathetic reasons. i sahll not reveal it more cox its past and i dun wan make myself upset. alex was really nice to hear me out and take me out fer a chat. but hey ... my dear alex found a gurl he lyk =) im happy fer but honestly im not. yea we dated but i dun tink we are happy dating rather than getting into rship. but now i cant date him anymore. he ought to spend more time wit her. but hes rather nice to take time fer me. im grateful fer tad or i wun be alive today. im stupid. maybe i haf depression. i dunnoe. i mite not noe. i really hate everyday life. im nvr happy. haix.

2005-09-11T23:41:00.000-07:00

i wish i can jux collaspe.

i wana live this cold world.

save me ppl

sad

arrrgggghhhh

meaningless fer me to live on

i tink i better go

cox its all blurry now

2005-09-07T12:56:00.000-07:00

i badly want to go fer e musical peter pan thingy. it may sound weird but its a fact i haf a fetish fer peter pan since i was lyk 5. i had a huge crush on tinkerbell even thou tinkerbell is a gurl. oh well. to many it may sound lame but do i care? i noe i lyk it so be it. anyways cant find anybody whu wants to go wit me. its mux be a lil expansive. so i guex i'll go alone. i mux beg momy to let me go. or maybe ask her go wit me. or shud i ask javis? nah... he will probably fall aslp in e theater. mux avoid sever humiliation. damn. i wan go so badly i swear.

anyways. fer this past days ive bin doing sum soul-searching. lyk... in 3 years time im gonna be 20. 3 years is such a short period. really. i dun wan be old. i dun even noe whether im able to support myself. let alone giving momy sum of it. ive actually grown. mentaly. grown mature enuf i guex. i started to more laid back under the fashion department. and my thinking ... i dunnoe i sumhow felt tad ive change. really. ive bin rather rude to my mom. ive bin shouting at her and being lyk remarkably unkind to her. fcuk me. shes my mom. i noe. but ive bin treating her lyk a fren. i jux cudnt understand y she cant understand me. shes jux so unreasonable. haixx... i dunnoe wad to do. sumore if she found out things which she is NOT suppose to fnd out. im dead and it gonna upset her. i really love her but i cant show it to her. sumtime i realise she mean alot. i duunnoe maybe this is part of being a young adult. ive change. maybe fer the worst to my mom and the better fer e society. i got loads of catching up to do wit frens and spend more time wit my family and try to listen to my mom and change fer being an ideal daughter. bac to the fashion department. i wan look weird and be different. its jux tad i dun dare yet. but i dun care. its me. mommy always say im weird but im being jux me.

will anybody understands me?

2005-09-06T21:39:00.000-07:00

new skin. i love it but i dunnoe how to say it la. anyways. sues slping over tmr nite. hmmm... i kip tinkin of marcus. haix. in sch now. cox dunnoe go bac able to update anot. my sis in hosp. dunnoe wad sickness. mommy throw my pall mall into e bin. my heart aches really bad... its not jux one but two. arrrgghhh.im piss. javis i love u. pls haf more time fer me. .. its going nowhere.

2005-09-03T14:21:00.000-07:00

one mth in establishin a rship wit javis. a successful one. =) but .... i will be able to gif more and stay focus if he equally does it. fair? i cant tell him wad to do cox he lead his own life. but i still tink i lack of his attention. i hope he will understand. and we haven mit up lyk fer a week cox he told me hes bin rather bz. i tried to swallow e excuse witout any doubts. he doesnt call everyday lyk normal bf does i forgave tad. cox he lost his phone. cant blame him. but atleast he shud lyk make an effort to call me. maybe im asking fer too much. i aint demandin. close frens will noe wad i mean.

meeting up wit old frens seems rather akward. they are doin jux fine. ya eacch one of em. i can see amar is really happy. shaary is gettin bubbly as ever. and e rest. i really miss e old days. it aint e same. sue really change. or was it me? i told her i DID not get enuf time wit her tad day. and she apologise. i dunnoe whether i shud able to sya its ok anot. cox really..... IT WAS NOT OK. to me its really not ok. why cant we be e same? maybe i shud lyk leave e old days and start hatin her. im suppose to hate her rite? i dun slam anybody in my blog. but sue. shes my bestfren. why cant she understands me? she spent MOST OF HER TIME stickin to her bf lyk a leech. oh wad am i? sumtimes i really wonder izit me whus acting a total bitch. im really puzzle and bin wondering alot. i can go crazy lyk this.

i nid a break frm all this. im nuts. im outta here.
javis tmr ur bday. pls tell me u cud spent it wit me.

2005-08-30T23:20:00.000-07:00

went out today. blastin day. job hunting. blah blah. movie bites was kinda cool. cafe roma is cooooooler. haix. lets jux pray i got sum job. haixx.... i dunnoe why im not kinda in e mood. javis hasnt call me fer lyk 48 hrs. i miss him so much... i wonder if he rmrbrs 1sept. haix. javis where are u? or izit u left me and gaf out e most lamest reason : i lost my hp. well i trust u javis dear. u cud haf call me rite? deres lyk a million payphone in spore and duh! deres such ting as hse phone. oh no maybe hes in camp. but still im sure deres lyk camp phone. argggghhhh... guys are so typical. lame lame lame. javis cal me cal me cal me cal me cal me cal me cal me cal me cal me cal me cal me.

2005-08-29T14:21:00.000-07:00

count down to :
dad's bday (31.08.2005)
one month aniversary wit javis (01.09.2005)

javis bday (4.09.2005)
todays entires is so colorful. hahaha. im happy i suppose
javis lost his phone. curse tad bastard whu stole his
i miss him ........... = (

2005-08-24T04:24:00.000-07:00

JAVIS I LOVE U. BUT CAN U PLEASE HAF MORE TIME FER ME. URE DRIVING ME NUTS WITH TAD BUSY SCHEDULE OF URS. PLEASE HUN, SPARE SUM TIME FER ME. I'LL LOVE U MORE =)

2005-08-23T03:36:00.000-07:00

hols sucks wen ure lyk so dead free. damn. nobody had time fer me. all i do is rot at hm and be a super junkie. yeah i ate junk. fuck. it matter alot. it let my hormone super happy. javis has no time fer me. he claims hes busy wit werk. javis ure such a dear boyfren. i hate u. i dun care u better make up e time fer me or u'll be sorry and im serious. i jux cant understand. arrrrghh im piss. and he said im annoyin. yeah rite munchkins. im irritatin cox u didnt entertain me. but still ure e boyfren i adore. but hey i dunoe whether u cud trust human anot. nvr.

2005-08-20T11:33:00.000-07:00

bored of life. bored of me. bored of all e tings in e fuckin universe. everyting jux sucks to its dead end. javis is pissing me off. he doesnt actually care fer me. he said he wud call ytd but he didnt. i felt lyk tearin his head frm his shoulder. fuck sia. if he doesnt love me anymore jux tell me. urgh. im fucking piss rite now. here i am VERY pissed. hes on e other side of this dumb island snoring his way off. sumtimes i wonder being single is not tad bad. having commitments wit a un-commimenty kinda guy ... it doesnt werk. i already did e best i can. trying hard to love him more each day and he? .... i cant stand it. i wana kill sumone

ytd two faggots stand bedise me in e bus and insulted goth style. one of e dickhead said eyeliner only dirty ppls faces. i was lyk wad the fuck. and gues was on their stereo : VANNESA CARLTON , BEYONCE AND JESSICA SIMPSON. can u imagine. im not insultin those female artist. i mean cumon get a life. atleast be nice and mention sumtink lyk michael buble or maybe daniel powter or maybe sumtin whus isnt as half lame as dose bimbos. wad a lameo. fuck em. and i jux can believe it goth ppl whu are pale are living vampires. duh.tawking abt being informative. dey nid to be drill wit latest info.

im goin out soon to unwind myself. if i stay another sec in this hse i will go bonkers. and gues whu im going out wit? : my mom.. today is spending day.

2005-08-17T18:50:00.000-07:00

oh fcuk i tink i wan shit. damn.
when im in e middle of sumtink imp.
dis kind of ting cum. ok nvm control .
e test was not tad diffcult as i was not biting my nails before it starts.
me - miss ace fer e future.
straight As is wad i'll get. =)
... art is dreamin again.

anyways didnt go fer last class cox was shootin balls into pockets. i won two games out of lee and lost all to nabil. wad a life and he left me wit an impression of balls tad can spin in 360 dg and wun go in. really. it happen rite b4 my eyes. i was shock and my mouth hung low but deep down inside i tot e victory was mine. ha! in e end i lost. duh! and takuya declare tad i won fer e billard game. but e fact is i lost badly.

btw its was rainin wen i was at e bustop jux now. this kind soul auntie share her umbrella wit me. how sweet is tad? GOD BLESS THAT AUNTIE.

2005-08-16T23:56:00.000-07:00

ive blog again. my life sint tad stress this days. except fer upcoming exams which sucks to e max. javis is getting on my nerves lately. hes gettin pure irritating. but hey i still love u javis. anyways out of e blue ytd anders a.k.a billy msg me. i mean i was kinda shock cox he didnt msg me fer a long time oready but he suddeenly appear. boy it was scary. hes stil wit his gurlfren thou. haixx...hes a gd fren. a nice one to tawk to . we're frens really... beside i love javis to death ahahaha. haix. today nvr go sch. got soccer trainin lyk fuck sia. today very tired. and javis pls stop finding fault wit me.

2005-08-15T22:06:00.000-07:00

hmmm... long time didnt blog. ermm lets see i went on cruise ..ya star virgo. and was lyk woah. its was fun eventually but i gt to share a rm wit ppls. my mom dad and bro. kickass. and daddy got a cute fren. SIM...... hahahaha. got gf. but hes hot. hot hot hot... e sea makes me sick anyways. blegh ~

im attached! to a great guy. javis. i love him loads. hearts hearts. wen to watch movie wit javis ytd. cuddles. blah blah blah. stupid dan show. e fucker maid. i fall aslp. it was frezzin in dere. argh! enuf abt javis. i love u

todays serenes bday. happy kickass baday darls. love ya loads

2005-08-05T03:15:00.000-07:00

wooohoooo ~ todays my bro bday. went out to celebrate wit him. watch charlie and e choco factory. way awesome. e movie is so adorable. . and i go lyk " willy wonka ..willy wonka" haha. i love willy wonka. hey u ppl out dere. regardless of age. go and watch it or u'll regret the butt of it. anyways. lee baby thx fer waking me up at 6.20 am today. OMG. is she fer real? sum maybe asking. and e ans is YES. 6.20am when class starts at 8...but hey..shes e one i adore..dun tink lykwise. shes my bless fren alive. i love her alot. woohhoooo. not more to write. ive decide to love his heart not him. and ben..screw off cox i noe u sux. hahahaha

2005-08-04T10:29:00.000-07:00

wet morning. woke up in e moring hope e sun will shines on me but was welcome by e dull weather outside my window. isnt it supose to be a fun day? well lets see whether my day will go as well as i assume. imstil sick... my coughin sounds lyk growlin. its scary. cudnt slp well last nite. e thoart is giving me hell. strepsils dun werk ferget it human...strepsils are jux cheating ur money. anyways ive vlass at one later. but hey nice weather to slp.

gerald was playing hide and seek wit me ytd. he hide in tad lil corner tad i hardly find him. afta a few mins of searchin saw tad barker hair. tad barker hair which i adore e most. gerald ure so hot u sizzle my heart . and im bless to haf lee as my fren cox she sure haf memorise this line by heart "i saw gerald". i can go on lyk tad fer e whole day. urgh! JOEL wasnt in his sch U ytd was in his hm clothes ..n i go lyk wad e fcuk. hes hot. looking at him...increase my sins. hes lyk a chocolate tad melts ur ass.

strain my neck i tink. cudnt gif a fcuk either. bros bday tmr. goin cruise e week afta. oh god. family day ... weeeee~ urgh. lame.

2005-08-02T22:19:00.000-07:00

stuck at hm fer today cox im sick. ytd post i scribble so many but only lyk one line tad appear. im still piss thou. i cant breathe ... i cant tawk. currently no sound can come out of my mouth cox i lost my voice. im a sad bitch tis days. cant stand life. futhermore i live fer its sadness everyday. life isnt much fun. anyways. i wish i cud write wad im tinkin excatly. my life is sad period. argggh i hate life.

suposinly i shud haf soccer training today but i cant go cox im sick. can u believe it? ur 1st soccer training and ure sick? OMG. wad a bummer. lifes a fcuk.

i cant help it. im sad. i dunnoe why. can sumbody pls help. i felt suffocated in my own werld. why cudnt the werld gif me chances to find happiness? wads wrong wit me? i cudnt live wit all e sadness. but i dun wan to die cox i still haf tons of tings to do. i cant be selfish. no...no

i nid a new life. i nid new sets of parents. i want to be love
patience is wad i nid

2005-08-01T22:56:00.000-07:00

u tink life is fun? duh

2005-07-27T18:31:00.000-07:00

in certain things u cant penn down ur origianl tots cox u'll be a laffing stock. i wish he wud be more reasonable as not to ignore me. i mean lyk wad a fren of mine said. is he to love ur heart n fer whu u are or is he to love ur face? well im not saying abt myself la. but u see... wad she said is true. and dd is not even gd looking. i was moved by him cox hes so nice. i mean. he cares and wad really moved me was.. he told me his ex is ugly. tads wad i lyk. he doesnt care abt appearance. but when it cumes to me.... he....... i got no say.

do u tink its nice being single? haixx. ure are wrong. yes it can be fun but .... sometimes it can get really lonely. im sick and tired of ppl. i wan to live wit aliens. i wish to be loved.

2005-07-27T02:21:00.000-07:00

one week didnt see gerald... this week 2 days in a row saw him. OMG hes so cute. hes jux a crush art. nothings gonna happen. no sparks. hes married. he has a gf. burst tad tot of urs. i hate gerald

2005-07-25T13:16:00.000-07:00

every life in this werld is precious. one may jux go witout u expecting it. life is so fragile. i regret fer not miting my aunt fer the last time. i didnt even get e chace to do it. i didnt get to kiss her e last gudbye. i wish time cud turn back. this is life we're tawking abt. everybody is adjusting their life to her lost. her absence makes e heart grow fonder... we are always missing her. i may not cry at her funeral but tad doesnt mean im not sad. but i noe.. god wants her more than us. shes supose to end her suffering.

IN THE MEMORIES OF MY AUNT
- 24 . JULY . 2005

2005-07-22T02:14:00.000-07:00

isnt he cute? better say he is lo. hahaha. anyway i tink hes a bit more cuter than his uncle daniel. hehe. tawk to daniel on fone till fall aslp. den look at tyrese pic [i hope i gt e name rite, cox dan was mumbling his name] . hes jux simply so adorable. sorry daniel... i tink hes more cuter.haizz..sch was such a fcuk today. boring lyk hell. slept my way thru class. den go help cox im being order. life is such a fcuk man. tmr goin bac w.c gonna hit town 1st before tad. den on sunday gt sch. wtf... gonna find daniel tmr. n say boo!

2005-07-21T20:26:00.000-07:00

as i gaze into ur eyes. i melt. my heart skip a bit n my stomach tied in to a knot. its all becox of u. im in this current state cox of u. u broke my heart into small pieces. do u noe how is it feel to haf ur heart broken. ppl dun gif a fcuk abt u. dey dun. dey were jux pretending to care. but in deir heart dey were laffing at u.ppl are mean. no good soul in this werld.my werld is full of heartbreakers. one by one... dey leave afta breaking my heart. dey are so cruel tad dey didnt gif u merci n jux leave u dumb-founded.

the werld revolve ard me. my life sorta reflect jux now. i suddenly tink bac of e past. e past of me and my frens. dose happy moments. me and sue. e fights over a guy. i dare to say i miss her alot. but as we drift apart.. wild tots flash me. miting up wit her... bring akward silence. we're not e same anymore. suddenly this hatred in me start to flare up. abt e love triangle thing. i tot i forgive her. but wad happen? wheres e sisterly bond? as i look at the pic we took together. dose hapy moments came back and at the same time. the place where we took e pic haunts me lyk fcuk. see wad i mean. one thing im happy abt e fact wwe used to be togther but tad place haunts me. i cudnt imagine her wit him. i cudnt believe she did tad to me. me... her bestfren.... i tot i was. but wad happen? i tot frenship bond is suppose to be stronger than love. out of all guys why him? why is it mux be us? i dun wish to bring up e past but im starting to imagine things. bad things. i shudnt be worryin... shes gone

2005-07-21T17:53:00.000-07:00

billy gt gf sia. fcuk him. im sick and tired ppl lyin to me. fcuk bastards. hate billy. hate billy . hated ppl act cute in typin. lyk dose irritaing language. im not jealous jux disgusted. argh! lame bitches. y am i so flare up? i seems to hate everybody this days. i gif em no merci. im always looking foward to everyday but this week is lyk i feel lyk killing myself wit nitrogen. sumbody save me.

2005-07-20T02:42:00.000-07:00

flare up ppl. im pissed. i mean wad e fcuk she tawkin if tad guy broke her heart n she still wana whine den ferget it n jux die .. love not worth e pain la. wad shit sia. love him so much la. crap sia. urrgh! cant be bothered anymore im so fcukin piss. anyways where e fcuk is gerald? quit sch an freestyle den die huh? didnt even see him fer 3 days. n norman why are u so cute today? why do u haf to make me drool in cct fab? i hate u. i nvr lyk u cox ure a racist but u make my heart skip n make my stomach smile. oh god. i fcukin hate u. jux why do u haf to be so cute. i will nvr forgif myself fer grinning at norman today. argh! to e bastard whu stole my lighter i hate u. go fcuk ur mom wit ur tiny dick n make sure u go 360 begging fer more. i hate u. but one thing... dennis i nvr love u. i nvr did so. get e shit hell out of me. [[ i hate everyone today ]]

2005-07-18T17:37:00.000-07:00

my life is so empty witout u. i felt so lonely. pls dun treat me lyk a tissue paper. i hate it. do u still care? or were u jux pretending? or were u jux out dere to hurt me? i had always love u. my feelings fer u jux cudnt die. even if u dun love me... can u pls not hurt me.jux let me love u. dun make me hate u.. but i noe i never will cox i love u to much. in this rate i can never be happy.

a soul out dere is constantly hurting my soul. pls god... let me survive this.

i want to live lyk jack n sally

2005-07-18T03:37:00.000-07:00

me and gerald. hahaha.

more man lyk him will do

2005-07-18T02:55:00.000-07:00

figging cute. i love him

Photobucket

2005-07-18T02:51:00.000-07:00

This is a test post from Photobucket.com

hes jux e one

2005-07-18T02:48:00.000-07:00

figging cute.. too bad hes mine.. hahaha

2005-07-16T14:55:00.000-07:00

went fer soccer try out ytd at bishan. damn torturing or maybe dtas how footballers train. damn... woke up at threee strugglin fer oxygen. find myself cudnt breathe.. i tink becox b4 go e trial..go champion den smoke quite few sticks. den afta tad monsterous trial... at nite suffer .. cannot breathe... i stay up fer lyk an hour still gasping fer air. haixx... wad a life. better quit smoking thou,

alex has bin constanly hurting me. wads his motive fer hurtin me? i mean why cudnt my feelings fer him jux die? it hurts...

even if u dun lyk me
u cant stop me frm loving u
cuz i have e rites
for my own feelings
to place it in my heart
even if u hated me
i believe
u haf atleast a small space 4 my heart to fill in
cuz its true
god ensures us to be loved n not to hate

2005-07-14T11:40:00.000-07:00

well..hw shud i start? ermmm... gt to find out hes in love wit sumone else. )= im not really excited abt tad. y cudnt it be me? maybe we are not cut out to be in a relationship. oh shucks. wad e fcuk am i tawking abt? anyways. bin bz lately.. bin bz of notink ... well. chucky recently msg me. i was quite shock at first. i was really shock. i mean. afta almost 8 mths of separation he came bac. his reason? he miss me? wtf . well i miss him alot too. i still rmbr hes e first guy tad broke my heart terribly. well to say alex is much worst. thanks alex. bac to chucky. hes e kind of guy u wundt wan to stay angry at. well hes NOT tad cute. hes not adorable either. hes jux PLAIN quiet. but i simply adore him ... hes jux sooo. my type. hes a nerd wit e first look. but he has this innocent lookin face where u wud jux wan to plant a big wet kiss on him. i dunoe how e look lyk now. its bin a long 8 mths since we're apart.i used to cry every nite jux fer him when he broke my heart tad day. i clearly rmbr everything he said to me which made me broke down. n e world came crashing down on me. his phonecalls n every word he says i can still recall it. i mean i was sooooo in love wit him once tad im willing to gif up anything fer him. jux fer him. but now.. im sure hes happy wit his gurl. i cant intervent . its jux so not nice... i wish him luck... IM HAPPY FER HIM.

anyways i saw tad guy whu took e same train as me last wik fer e straight 4 days.. fer tad 4 days i've bin taking e train wit him at e same time n we even alite e same station n walk e same direction fer 4 straight days. i dun even noe his name. i only noe hes frm nyp. probably a yr one? im not sure. i tot of goin up to him n ask him fer his name. well its nice to haf someone wit u to take train hm so i wun be lyk a major dork standin in e train. are u getting wad im hinting?

MARCUS HAPPY SICKASS BDAY.

2005-07-11T01:28:00.000-07:00

hes not worth my tears or my blood. y mux he pretend to love me in e first place? to his eyes, im not worth to be wit him. i was jux foolish to let him mislead my feelings. he said im immature to hurt myself. he said its was immature when it was suppose to be foolish. so he tinks i lyk hurting myself for him? i suddenly felt so stupid afta this whole thing. wad did i do to deserve this? ... y mux e world go round this way to make me this big loser? i can never forgif myself. i forgif e guy whu hurt me this way. cox of him im in this current state. i try not to show it too much . i dun wan ppl to tink im weak. i hate to be discrimated. i hate being alone. i hate love.

2005-07-08T12:16:00.000-07:00

today is friday. oh wad a line to start my journal. sch wasnt tad great today. i mean we did nothing but crash e class for almost 3 hrs? den decide to go break... guex whu i saw? SAUSAGE MOUTH sia. out of ALL ppl. but hey.. hes my lucky star fer today lo. afta see him ... saw JOEL. den afta saw my GERALD. wait tawk abt SAUSAGE MOUTH 1st. i tink hes really angelina jolie's god son lo. he really looks lyk one. n hes kinda cute too. except fer his mouth. if not i tink he'll look puuurrrfect. anyways actually saw JOEL 1st ting in e morn'g. he was limping i tink due to e floorball practice ytd. poor cutie. anyways..hes very sporty lookin thou. SOOOO HOT. den while eatin...GERALD walked thru e cantin. i was lyk WAD THE FCUK MAN. HES DROP DEAD GORGEOUS. *droooools. i LURVE his hair. i wan his hair + i wan him too. hahahhaha. ok enuf. ... well got to get ready im goin out wit serene... monday no sch. yay!

2005-07-07T10:16:00.000-07:00

alex called ytd. was lyk wtf does tis muthafckuer wan frm me. im so lost. i tot he was e one but afta of wad he said last nite makes me change my mind n ive bin manipulate by him. i cant satnd pretenders. hes one. u noe lyk dey say looks can be deceiving. well his looks realy deceive me. he looks damn fcukin innocent on e outside but an evil cheap bastard on e inside. im not suprise if gurls wan u cox of ur money. y e fcuk am i wasting my space to write abt him? its not worth it. im still at hm its only lyk 10 n i cant get back to slp cox e sun is blazing rite thru my eyeballs. i really hate e sun. marcus bday is cumin so is yani .... my doll .... gonna be broke but im not gettin marcus any prezzie. i dun tink he will accept oso. cox he only accepts presents frm NATASHA. big fcuk u bug. hahaha... counting down on marcus bday to see wether gt any drama cuming up.

2005-07-06T15:51:00.000-07:00

read sofies entry.. finaly get to blog sofie cheer up gurl. tads e way to give bastards a hell. yay! gurl anyways.. bin happenning alot lately. ive start to feel lonely again. alex is gone. hes gone fer gd cox he said my temper is not gd. he mislead my feelings. GET THIS HE MISLEAD MY FEELINGS. i mean wtf. i gaf in alot fer this guy. i gt into trouble wit my parents jux to be wit him n hes telling me we are jux better off frens afta all dose kisses n hugs we had? bullshit rite? i dun hate him. every time a guy diss me i will always tink its my fault. i hate it. i dun blame him. maybe we are jux cut out to be frens. but hey UR FREN IS CUTER..DESMOND I <3 U. i rather go fer his fren den him. urrrghhh. muthafcuker. anyway its over. fcuking over. but im lonely again.

hmm great news i found out his name ...... GERALD. my slping travis is call GERALD. serene went over to him to ask direct fer his name. n ohhh... it *melts. i adore him hes sooooo cute. if GERALD happen to c this entry this is fer u GERALD : I LOVE UR HAIR..UR MOHAWKISH HAIR. I WAN A PICTURE TAKEN WIT U DALRS. i adore u so badly. hahahaha. ive bin over e moon last nite. i cud hardly slp. GERALD SEEMS TO BE EVEYWHERE. ha! den e best part travis was on tv last nite. travis is soooooooo yummy! hahaha. didnt see him today. was quite sad actually. im prepared to face him today if he had n eye contact wit me.

ben is happy wit his gurl. kip bumpin into em at e mall. its lyk.. isnt dere any other couple fer me to envy? fcuk. im startin to hate him alot period. i jux cant stand him. i see him in sch..at e mall...its lyk hes EVERYWHERE. I CAN JUX DIE..i jux nid GERALD to survive. hahaha lame.

i gtg my brain is going to explode soon
SAUSAGE MOUTH STOP RUINING MY LIFE.

2005-07-01T18:16:00.000-07:00

hmm..went out wit alex last nite. ate dinner at bk. hmm den hit to seletar reservoir for ssum cosy session. well me n him not official yet. yes we're seeing each other at e moment but dunnoe wen we're ready fer commitments. yeah.. i guex...seeing each other lyk this is sorta better. well...but e worst part is ... we are seeing each other but i cant restrict him frm other gurls. get it? oh wad a bummer.... i dunnoe wad to do. anyways.. my back hurts really bad. fer lyk a week oready. i cant stand e pain. cudnt get up fer sch today cox of e pain. haixx... felt so old. i cant write oready e pain is killing me... laterz

2005-06-29T10:35:00.000-07:00

ytd was such a great day. every thing went fine. slping beast gt a nice n cute hairstyle .. i lyk n i go lyk .... *drool. hes my new travis barker. damn.. i wish i cud take a pic of him. i simply adore his hair. but den.. he seems to noe wad i did to him ... *creepy. maybe he knew i took his pic in e train which was lyk months ago. hey..forgive n forget la... he gt a new name... slping travis. boy..tad guy is handsome. hes jux sooooooooo ...... *melts. went to watch initail d wit alex ytd. met his fren, desmond. gd-looking guy n lyks to tawk alot. isnt tad cool? but den.. i was ooggin at jay. he was sooooooooooooo.. my type. i tink im gonna catch it again. i really wan to melt in e theatre. shawn yue is lyk e most macho man in e universe. n not to forget e cars. it goes lyk ... *wooosh... aarrrrggghhhh... i cud hardly slp afta watchin dat. haha. anyways afta e movie we go eat at clementi.. den desmond walk hm cox he lives nearby den alex drive me hm. today i miting sue at bugis wit seha. i dunnoe hw im suppose to react. well... wad is past is past. n yeah... im still hoping fer travis barker to appear. *sizzles... gtg now. maybe update later?

2005-06-27T19:50:00.000-07:00

i cant stand liars.
i hate pretenders
i detest bullshitters.
i hate u. i hate tad fcuker.
thx alot

2005-06-27T13:55:00.000-07:00

he didnt look at my direction when i walk past him. he mux haf damn me fer takin his pic. i jux dunoe why hes nice to look at. hmmm... maybe im a stalker. nah... hes jux another guy. another whu happen to make me think hes cute n so adorable. but hey... hes slping beast. fcuk slpin beast..slping beast... i still dunnoe his name. can sumone pls tell me im infatuated by him. arrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh shit... i hate him. im in class now. blogging as if i own this class . bsides its self-learning. so its consider a free period to me..haixx got to go. its urgh ! reading material .....

2005-06-27T10:22:00.000-07:00

deres a saying "monday blues"..mine is not blue mie is black. its not the usual monday which i enjoy. i met loads of muthafcukers on the way to sch. but hey slping beast lite up my day. well sort of wit his ugly haircut. damn i hate him fer tad, mux take his pic n show e whole world. his hair is ugly. really ugly. but hey... i didnt expect him to go to tad extende fer a transformations. arrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
MY SLPING BEAST IS UGLY
save me.... sumone pls.. till now i still dunnoe his name

2005-06-25T20:01:00.000-07:00

ive bin blog hoppin since i get bac frm heaven to help my bezzie finish off her bf's project. damn..i shud haf bin a arts student. anyways bac to blog hopping. i see ppl skin.. n i go lyk woah.... my skin is lyk ermmm... e feeling of a 17 yr old whu haf jux step into kiddy palace. duh! but hey i spent almost 3 hrs doing my skin. i curse n swore tad comp till i manage to get wad i wan. so ppl..u wana criticise my skin. go ahead. i welcome u to do it. but say it into my face n pls dun do it behind my bac. its jux so cowardy... is dere such a word? ive completed my project. well sort of. well i can say marcus... is getting cuter n more adorable in his pics. hmmm... n jeremy is hot ... hot ..hot. fcukers. dose guys are born wit pretty faces. im gona catch intital d but dunnoe whu wid be kind enuf to acc me to e movies. shud start checkin my contacts. hahaha. as if. anyways. im always anyways-zing. my slping beast mux haf graduate....awwww... u left witout me honey. damn u. i gtg i nid to revamp my room. im gonna haf little angels on my ceilings. i cant decide yet to spray using stencils or draw out dose angels. its me.. i cud hardly decide.

2005-06-25T10:28:00.000-07:00

i already gt e angel pendant i wanted... hooray! haha. im so contented now. of cox mumy addd some to it lar. im so happy. but den i nid to get myself a sweater fer sch or i'll freeze to death. well cte guys cant escape my eyes. my cousin is hot.. but too bad .. HES MY COUSIN

2005-06-23T21:21:00.000-07:00

its only week one n deres numerous project to be done. one is 20 weeks n the other is 12 hrs. i cant believe dey are rushing tings lyk this. n i realy hate project. i cant stand it la. mine will always nvr work n afta every thing is done .. all i found out is tad.. i purposely stress myself out noeing tad i wud fail frm e begining. im always a failure am i? sometimes i really wonder why i got myself into this mess. taking courses which i dun even lyk. i mean y toture myself correct? haix i had enuf. i can nvr be happy in this two years. i only go sch cox i can social ard. besides tad only certain days i haf interest. tads wad u call mood-swing. i really cant be bothered.. damn it. ive lost again.

2005-06-22T20:31:00.000-07:00

attention earthling :
relink me if u didnt get any of my tags .. thx
www.innocentretard.blogspot.com

2005-06-22T16:52:00.000-07:00

new skin. i simply love PATRICK THE STARFISH
i jux love dorky stuff. dorky objects , dorky animals n evem dorky guys.im so tired tmr sch starts at one. can u imagine? im excited tads y i haf 3 post today

fcuk dose retards

2005-06-22T11:49:00.000-07:00

GT INFO TAD SAUSAGE MOUTH IS RICH
$$$$$ BLINK-BLINK
U NOE WAD TAD MEANS?
DAMN
SHUD BE NICE TO HIM NOW
IM GAY NOW.
FCUK DOSE RETARDS

fer ur info im not jumping fer joy

2005-06-22T10:12:00.000-07:00

im such an ass to blog in sch. ya fcukers im in sch now. week one is always e lamest week. didnt i said tad ytd. anyways.... still feeling sore n dumb since last nite over tad incident. ben mux be jumping fer joy to noe tad im heartbroken. ben u won! luckly i didnt see him ard in sch today. well ... maybe not yet. but i swear if i c him... my heart cant be plaster bac. its into its smallest pieces now. tad gurl mux haf tink im a nuggle head. she mux be damn proud over her achievement. ya... *applause. damn it. go die u bitch. i hate u. but i love him. wtf. blah blah blah. lifes such a bore. wel fcukers life is always a bore. interesting gtg.. e invaders are here... *toodles

and he goes ard still hating me

2005-06-21T20:42:00.000-07:00

today i was late fer sch took a cab and cox me a fcukin 10 bucks. cox dere was an accident rite infront of my eyes. i was lyk .... WTF. im late n this ppl are merryin ard havin accident? ok..now i sound cruel. but do i gif a fcuk? today wasnt my day either. it all went great till late afternoon when he crash my heart.
didnt go fer last class. cox week one is always e lamest week among all weeks. first class i was crashing e comp in SCR # 1 wit doll. but damn it didnt blow into small pieces i really wish it did. i cudnt eat afta i saw e cute whu had a crush on me. i jux cudnt eat. not tad i squel in excitment but ... only god noes. den afta class eat again in peace tis time..den negotiate whether to go fer last class or not. afta an hour of tounge clashing... we decided not to go. n i mean all except fer sis k. doll gt dental app. lee meeting her bed. my darlin goin www. den i go hm mit my mom.

i took e train hm as per usual wit man. tempted to ask him abt H-I-M. but no guts. later man tot i blah blah blah.
i froze when i saw michael at yck st. i was lyk... god bless me its mike. damn cute sia. i worship his style. da man. hes jux a ting-ting-ting *10. den at ys mike alite, i didnt approach him cox hes way too hot n i dun want embarass myself in my uni. pathetic.

afta mike alite...gues whu board e train n in e same cabin n breathe same oxygen as me?
LESTHE GOH. MY CRUSH IN SECONDARY SCH
DAMN FUCKERS HE LOOK SOOOOOOOOOOOOO CUTE WIT NEW IMAGE
I WAS CURSING MYSELF. I TOLD MYSELF WHY E FUCK AM I HERE. I NID BACK UP BEFORE I COLLASPE. BUT I DIDNT ANYWAY. HE RECONGISE ME BUT I DIDNT SAY ANYHTING. HE WAS TAWKIN IN CHINESE TINKING TAD IM AN ASS IN CHINESE LANGUAGE. HE TOLD HIS FREN TAD I WERE SPECS IN MY SEC DAYS. TAD IS SUPER INSULTING.ANYWAYS HES A MAJOR HOTTIE

went out wit my mom. saw e angel pendant i wanted. 40 bucks fer e whole thing. momy wanted to buy it fer me but i felt bad jux to get tad. so i told her im buying it wit my next pay. but i change my mind im gonna get e bigger angel. did u noe i had a hard time convincing my mom to let an angel hung ard my neck. she says it has got to do sumting wit e religion. but i manage too. den wan go civic. i was chatting happily walking wiout noticing BENJAMIN THONG was behind me wit his GURLFREN. i choked. i becum numb. i dunno wad to do but this time i didnt cry. i dun wan act stoopid infront of my mom n BENJAMIN THONG. hes e guy whu hate me n still hating me. hes e guy i love fer 3 yrs now. he doesnt even blardy care how i feel. he hug his GURLFREN n kiss HER in front of me. maybe im acting stoopid. y do i care so much? i will nvr forgive myself fer hurtin him. IM HATING MYSELF MORE JUX FER U, BENJAMIN. are u gay now? im trying to convince myself tad im glad hes happy wit HER.

stop acting lyk a goof ball u nuggle head. i cant do much. im a sad apple. maybe all e fcukers alive hate me. damn me. wish tad i wud die fer e better. i mean what the fuck. jeez ~

P.S SLPING BEAST WHERE ARE U? GRADUATE ? OR SICK IN E ASS?
~ muacks

todays post is damn one fcuk up compo. gd luck in readin u asses! muaha

e grinchiate

2005-06-21T05:27:00.000-07:00

im a lil muthafcuker. u asses beware i hate u!

sad apple

2005-06-20T23:19:00.000-07:00

im a sad apple

life still goes on... such a fcuk

2005-06-14T23:04:00.000-07:00

long time didnt blog.
been really bz
aunts has cancer
bro gt married
was such a disaster
family crisis
all i can do is curse myself
i hate it
i gt no choice
i cant speak fer myself
cox im young
i cant haf any say
but if i dun speak fer my rite
wads gonna happen to my mom?
i cant do anything.
im so tired
i gif up

wen everybody is against the world

2005-06-14T22:09:00.000-07:00

i cant take it anymore. i really haf to pen down my tots.

im facing alot of problems lately. i cant face it on my own.
my bro gt married on 12th june. 200 retards escort him frm west to e north (e brides hse). i already warn him not to pollute e surrounding but he jux wudnt listen. den 20 mins before he had to put on his tux.... he called out fer me to help him search fer his colonge. typical rite? but indeed he look hot. dose retards kip cuming in and out of e hse making a mess. n im suppose to clean up. e dinner was on saturday. ard 100 retards came down to get free food n do up their stupid helmet. i mean all e 2oo of em haf e same designs on em. n duh! its my bros design. its e ugliest lookin thing i ever seen. i can draw better. but to make my bro happy, i said "oh gosh, its awesome"... my sis-in-law was hot in tad wedding gown. i can see she was really nervous.den blah blah blah..sunday was e actual day. drama here n dere... mom cried cox she was too hapy. guest kip saying im next on e wedding list. blah blah blah. dere were lyk 2000 guest. im tired of welcuming earthlings. almost 3/4 of e guest i haf no idea whu dey are. deir favourite lines :
"oh...u've grown so tall.last time we see u..u were jux this tiny"
"so whens ur turn?"
"which one of e bikers ur boyfren?"
harlow aunties..im only 17. n nvr will i get involve myself wit retards.even if im getting married i wudnt invite u.
n now e big problem.... nobody is lookin afta my mom. btw on sunday we are suppose to take a family shot. dad was not ard. we all miss him. i cried..den my mom cried den everyother of my siblings cried too. ya...we all miss u dad. we really wish u were dere to see dd gt himself a wife n probably to be able to see me get married too. my sister was not tad happy when mom put 500 bucks in my account. cox im not their real daughter so she see no point of the mony go to me. but before dad pass away...dad told mom to gaf sum of his money to me. cox my parents really treat me lyk their own child.den dd is not cuming back cox hes staying at his in-laws.den both my sisters are goin fer hols. my 4th bro has financial which i really understands. only left me n my 2nd bro.i dunnoe. i felt so ...different afta wad my sis says abt my status...i dunnoe..its complicated

mirror

2005-06-14T06:54:00.000-07:00

curiosty kills e cat

target miss

2005-06-14T06:52:00.000-07:00

shot at jalan kayu

e angel

2005-06-14T06:49:00.000-07:00

my one and only angel... i lurve her to death

n i was lyk .... yeah?

2005-06-01T10:48:00.000-07:00

If u marry me
will u bury me?
will u carry me to the end ?
so say goodbye to the heart u break....
im still coughin realy bad
wish i cud jux fcukin slit my throat .. i cudnt stand the fcuking itch n ive bin cursin myself fer lyk a thousand times.n i cudnt control myself frm my lil baby lighter.. maybe god say e more i curse e more itchy it get. oh fcuk. ive bin overdosing myself wit pills n cough syrup. i didnt noe it taste soooo good. so i beg mummy to let me drink e whole bottle n she was lyk ... "gimme a reason y shud i let u drink e whole bottle?" n i go lyk "i dun dream of becuming a rockstar" she rolled her eye [[ ya i didnt noe she cud ]] n mutter " suit urself" if she cud add she wud add " suit urself u little sucker" hahaha.maybe e other reason she allow me to overdose myself is becox im n annoying fcuker whu annoys e whole hse 24/7 n yes - even when im sick. my mom was lyk .... shut up ure sick ure not allow to tawk so much.. but it wasnt me whu tawk alot its was her NAGGING tad cause noise pollution. i mean i cant believe myself. im already 17 ... MOMMY IM S-E-V-E-N-T-E-E-N. [[btw dose whu believe im 165 yrs old..go screw urself]] .... n she breathe dwn my neck almost every sec of my life. gimme a break will u. n i dun excatly hate her..c how sweet i am? (=.. heres a funny incident :

im actually allergic to this drug call brufen
e farni part is when i ate tad brufen thing my eye will turn into goldfish eyes
yesh - GOLDFISH. dose fluffy kinda thing
so i took e brufen thing e day before i went to see my doc
so e next morning i woke up at 5am cox i nid to pee
i look into e mirror n i saw this uglee creature whu happen to be me.
so i gt out of e washrm
i switch on all n i mean ALL e lites in e hse. ALL
n i start running in circles in my living room
everybody woke up.
momys first reaction was : OMG !!! URE UGLEE
n can u belive she actually said tad?
dady try calmin me dwn saying wad spongebob wud say to patrick..
" URE NOT UGLEE - U JUX STINK " e stink part he didnt say it
my bro was practically laffing n he cud turn blue
den everybody camp in my room
momy slp bside me [[ ya miracley it cud fit us both..my bed is a small bed nt queens ]]
daddy on e floor wit my bro
damn...tad was e sweetest thing everybody did to me
I WAS TOUCHED BY EM ....AAAAAWWWWWWWW!

im going off later to buy my niece her present her bdays today..
happy bday u lil tart ... ure my darling
kickass 6 ya? ya..shes only 6

VANS "OFF THE WALL"

2005-05-29T21:52:00.000-07:00

wooooohhhhooooooo ~
gt hold of e shoe i wanted all along.
n guess wad its way cheaper than i tot.
kickass sia
i was e happiest gurl on e planet
but i hated e sales person
damn fcuking stuck up
i felt lyk wackin his face sia
but he shud thnk god fer giving him tad look
hes way adorable.
momy spent quite alot on me
shoes , earing for my bros wedding n a bracelet frm perlini's
momy is sweet today
im getting excited for my bros wedding.
its in 2 wiks time...
im sick today
caught my bro bacteria
cox im being a sweet sister (=
saw leslie's pic at B.U.M equipement store
i drool
i really did drool
i wud turn unstraight fer her
damn..shes a babe
anyways i gt to eat my medicine now,
i dun mind drinking e whole bottle
i dun mind getting overdose
i dun mind not waking up forever
i dun love life
i hate it.
i really do

if im evil wad are u?

2005-05-29T15:45:00.000-07:00

tawking abt e world... its indeed a small one. i hop frm blog to blog n i end up lookin at e guy whu rejected me 4 mths ago. my only request was for his name n him being a big bastard humiliate me n cause me public humiliation. it was e worst day of my life but... i dun blieve in dose fate crap sort. its fcukers. well he really cant avoid me... well well its indeed a small world. n btw dude .. i haf a copy of ur pic which i utterly destroy it using advance technology. well wad else can i say... cum beg me baby... hahahaha. cum to mama... *evil laff * wit jux one click ur face wit my creation will be all ard e world... nah..im not tad cruel. unless u beg to mummy fer merci... dammit im having fun. pls dun hate me... i adore e look frm ur face when u read this. nah..im not tad evil... i gt better things to do rather than post ur not-so-handsome pic ard. i tink all e gurls wit hit their com screen wit a baseball bat if dey saw ur pic. i rather save e com screen. so fer ur case... lemme think abt it. i will use my teeny-weeny brain to get back at u. n make u cum beggin to me. thank me... say im not evil will u ?

u took my love fer granted..y oh y

2005-05-27T22:24:00.000-07:00

Take a bow, the night is over
This masquerade is getting older
Lights are low, the curtains down
There's no one here
[There's no one here, there's no one in the crowd]
Say your lines but do you feel them
Do you mean what you say when there's no one around [no one around]
Watching you, watching me, one lonely star
[One lonely star you don't know who you are]

Chorus:

I've always been in love with you [always with you]
I guess you've always known it's true [you know it's true]
You took my love for granted, why oh why
The show is over, say good-bye

Say good-bye [bye bye], say good-bye

Make them laugh, it comes so easy
When you get to the part
Where you're breaking my heart [breaking my heart]
Hide behind your smile, all the world loves a clown
[Just make 'em smile the whole world loves a clown]
Wish you well, I cannot stay
You deserve an award for the role that you played [role that you played]
No more masquerade, you're one lonely star
[One lonely star and you don't know who you are]

(chorus, repeat)

Say good-bye [bye bye], say good-bye

All the world is a stage [world is a stage]
And everyone has their part [has their part]
But how was I to know which way the story'd go
How was I to know you'd break
[You'd break, you'd break, you'd break]
You'd break my heart

I've always been in love with you
[I've always been in love with you]
Guess you've always known
You took my love for granted, why oh why
The show is over, say good-bye

Say good-bye [bye bye], say good-bye
Say good-bye

my angel on saturday

2005-05-22T22:22:00.000-07:00

isnt he hardwerking? i simply adore when he really sits down n do his work... hes PAUL MICHAEL

LOST !

2005-05-22T22:19:00.000-07:00

hes lost n im searching fer him. ppl whu see him anywhere pls contact me n will be rewarded. hahaha

its a sour trip.

2005-05-22T13:03:00.000-07:00

went city square ytd hoping to spent my moms pay on myself. but my uncle's car went busted half way n momy had to pay fer e damage. fcuk sia. den we haf to wait lyk 2 hrs to get tad blardy thing done b4 heading off to city square. arrive at e mall.. momy left ard RM 120. i mean wads dere to spend wit RM 120? momy said we cud buy anyting in e mall but wit RM 120? n its among 3 of us? i saw this shoe which was awesome. n it cost ard 90 plus. den if i use 90 plus of e money left ard 30 plus... n wad? my bro n momy can only spent 15 bucks? i mean wtf. n momy gt to foot all e food bill cox my aunt n unlce didnt bring cash. i was lyk WAD THE BLARDY FCUK !!!!! this is gonna be e last time im going out wit em. screw sia. btw i saw sum cute cina studs dere. n dey speak fluent malay n tad freaks me out. mutafcuker. haixx..im going out now.. meeting my dearest sizo.. sumwhere in spore. btw class on saturday was great. paul did my test n he scores well. but he really suck my blood. n ya..hes flying to philipines next wik..means no work... yahoooo!!!!!!!! but im gona miss him... =)

muthafucker...lifes a piss

2005-05-20T12:00:00.000-07:00

mommy isnt tawkin to me. bryan isnt answering my call. wtf wit everyone? did tad freaking test today. knn. e test is lyk so fcukin lame sia. my mind went blank [[ my mind always went blank fer tad freaking sub.]] n e server kip rejecting my ans. i was lyk fcuk u lar. im tryin my best to do e test n now its against me.

ive bin bz lately. went out wit s.l.a.y.e.r.s on wed. n i lost my student pass. isit me or was it jux lyk everything in this world is against me. am i tinking to much? fcuk rite? i miss going out wit nursey n chill n go manizing ? [[ other side fer womanising hahaha ]]. im getting bored of my life each day. i felt tad my life is useless. its isnt happening at all. y cant no one feel how i feel? im lost n confused. i dun think many will understand my misery. ppl : deres a sad story behind every smile.

hmm sumtimes i tink back, its all my fault. i shudnt haf started it. i shud jux ferget all abt it. i shall not reveal wads e main thing is cox its an offence to e male species. i seriously dunnoe wad to do wit my life. sumtimes i wish tad my life is fun.. trouble-free. u noe tad kind of thing. im tired of myself. im tired creating e problems.

haixx sumtimes i wish god cud send me a guardian angel to be my fren n help me ease my tots. i jux wish tad i cud jux die...

blinded

2005-05-20T01:15:00.000-07:00

wads dere to say when ure blind?

in pain

2005-05-19T23:42:00.000-07:00

rescue me... inverted pics..

shes helena

2005-05-19T21:27:00.000-07:00

isnt she cute? n i love her name =)

its jux another day

2005-05-17T16:20:00.000-07:00

took my test today. well i DID study. but hey.. i manage to work out sum Q. i definately dun wish to repeat. i mean ARE U CRAZY? I HAD ENUF LIFE IN TAD FCUKIN SCH N U TINK I LURVE REPEATING? saw slping beast in e morning today. i go.... aaaaahhhhhh... finally i saw him. hes so hot. n i saw him thrice. wooohoooo~ nuthing much really hapens. my lifes a bore. i hate it. if i cud trade i wud. wed n thurs no sch. shud be happy but im not. cox i'll start to rot at hm. so maybe n i realy hope to hit town wit the S.L.A.Y.E.R.S. tmr. gurls pls save me frm this boredom. im hungry. n oh ya i burn myself. i mean burn a teeny-weeny part of my hand. but it hurts lyk crazy. IM DISFIGURED. I NID PLASTIC SURGERY PRONTO. haixxx...im sick ..n i miss bryan. he kena confinement i tink tads y i cudnt reach him. aiyoh. lifes hell. well alfred. im free this thursday. it wud be nice if u turn up at my doorstep wit a cake again? hahaha. i gtg now. i nid food. im always hungry..izit e hungry ghost festival?

TERENCE I HATE U. I FCUKING HATE U. U FLIRT. U SON OF A BITCH. I HATE U. I HATE U.

failing is my forte.. i fcuking love exams

2005-05-12T19:32:00.000-07:00

im screwed! my exam is next wik n well oh well... excited? nah..big deal its jux another fcuked up theory shit. get over it soonner or later. no point regretin it if u didnt make it. tads life fer u. i cant be bothered myself either. it jux freaks me out if i start to panic. lifes so boring. its always e same boring routine. sch ..exams .. fcuked! maybe i shud get a new life. fretting over bastards whu curse my love life. i was lyk yeah...cumon. get a life. ytd i had a terrible nitemare. i dreamt tad i was in e jet wit marcus n both of us were lyk totally naked. eeewwww..me n marcus? no way. even if u kill me. im gonna get my pay this sat. n pauls off to philippines fer lyk 2 weeks? so no werk fer me. *yahoo* i said sumthing harsh to bryan ytd. n hes angry now. hmmm..well its gona end soon so i hardly gif a fcuk to it lar. haixx.. bored bored bored.im gonna kill myself now. toodles

i'LL be jux fine...pretending im not

2005-05-10T19:58:00.000-07:00

was late fer 5 min n i was damn lucky doll was not fcuked up. today comm skills last class..was so happy sia cox i've always hated tad class. so its a WOOOHOOOO~ haha.den at 9am we haf to go dwn to 114 n take a stoopid test. ha! this time all my ans is D. or was it B? n i used my new purple pen n i told doll i was horny doin e test n mr joe say he lyk e sound of tad.blardy cheeky. haha.e test was 1hr15min but im an intelligent person so i took 30 min to complete e test. am i smart or wad?

den argue infront of e locker whether to eat in sch or outside. tooot....tooot...toot...we decided we gonna haf lunch in sch. N I SAW SLPING BEAST!!!!!!!!!!!! he is jux soooo cute. i saw him looking at me. or was i too obvious? or was it tad he really knew abt me taking his photo? oh..fcuked! arghh..but heck care..wad is done cant be undone n he cant tell me off to delete his pic cox its my fone n its my rite. *blegh* but whu ask him to be soo cute rite? haha.

i jux love e way he look. so pure..so sweet..so innocent...eeeewwwwww... art is getting lame in this.haixx...hes jux a doll in my fantasy. im tired..i wana slp

im a sucker .. do u tink so?

2005-05-08T18:42:00.000-07:00

argh! lifes a fcuk man. (hate it..hate her..hate him) (im bored to death) (im sick) (i hate life) (wads e point of living wen its lyk.....no future ahead?) (mite as well die) (bin watchin tv all day) (rotting at hm) (sch tmr) (nt looking foward thou) (cox its sucky) (fcuk...fcuk...fcuk...jeez) (i dunoe wad to say else) (im a sucker..an irritating one...an annoying one) (im hungry) (deres nuthing to eat) (i nid food) (my mom has bin buggin me nt to blog cox she tinks its a waste of time...yeah rite mom... everyone blog except fer u) (can sumbody tell me wad am i living fer?)
(btw mom..i love u...not...hahaha) (bbbbbboooooooorrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeedddddddd)
better go now n hunt fer food before i starve myself n turn into a hungry monster n devour e whole world.... fcuk im so lame.

fcuk me

2005-05-06T19:08:00.000-07:00

gues whu make me piss today,
here are e options :
a) slping beast
b) slping beast
c) slping beast
d) slping beast

today ist thing in e morning tad fassie ruin y mood. tot u wud get better if i step in sch but fcuk. i saw slping beast sitting wit his Q class gurl. arrrgggg!!!! hate it to e max. n tad gurl jux sssssooooo clingy on him. fcuk. n he? happily laffing wit HER.jux not my day i guex. well fot wit bryan this morning so e day is not tad great. den saw "marcus" ... hes soooo hot!!! *sizzles* ben ec is hot too. he looks kinda jappy type. cute guys are always taken lar. blardy hell. Haix tmr gt werk. damn it. im praying hard he'll be a gd boy tmr.

im sick n im tired. all i want to do is cry myself to slp n nvr wake up. sumtimes i wonder y do i live for? when i make ppl ard me hate me n curse me. i want to be loved. h wad fcuk im tawking... i hate life. i gif up. n ive bin waiting fer this :

SSSSSSSLLLLLLLPPPPIIINNNG BBBBEEEAAASSSSSTTTTT
IIIIIIIIIIII HHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAATTTTTTTEEEEEEEE YYYYYYOOUUUU

e rebirth and re-alive bitch

2005-05-05T16:24:00.000-07:00

black n unwanted

2005-05-03T14:55:00.000-07:00

1) im fcuking black
2) i hate it to e max
3) my skin started to peel
4) holy shit
5) bryan call at 5 am in e morning
6) didnt haf enuf slp
7) felt lyk a zombie
8) zombified
9) no slping beast
10) but gt sausage mouth
11) ben ec was bhind me
12) todays nuruls bday
13) she gt a new fone <7260>
14) i envy her
15) i want one too
16) prayin bryan wun get confinement
17) my skin hurts
18) no more alvin
19) sad
20) so long n good nyte